RED Balloon.

I haven't been blogging for more than a month already. Well things have been going crazy. Everyday, the responsibilities have been inflating like a balloon and the balloon's size seems to be limitless. I feel tired. Sometimes Sad. Few moments i feel triumphant. But i try to make the most out of every experience i encounter and face. Good or Bad. I should see it always in a positive perspective. I wanna WIN. To achieve that, i need COURAGE. FORTITUDE. PATIENCE. AND PRAYERS!

June passed by so fast. A year older again. But looking more than a year younger. Am Inspired. I have met a few inspiring people and they are enough to keep me going and reach for my dreams. I am happy am learning a lot. Every moment is becoming faster than what it seems. But these are cherished moments, till forever! =)

Day 62: Therese-yans!

It's the last day of May! I can feel that it's going to be a very busy and tough June! And it will be memorable and a crucial moment of my life. So Help Me God!

So anyway, yesterday i met with my dormmates. We met at MOA. It was great meeting up with them again after a long time. We just reminisced our college days--our nasty, naughty and wacky moments at the dorm. So much catching up to do. We had coffee and dinner until we parted ways. Awww it was fun being with my dormmates! Viva Therese-Yans! ;)

Today, i am too domesticated. I missed having a yaya around, but well, i deserve a pat on the back for a job well done!

Yes I Can!
;)

Day 60: Whatta game! =)

Yesterday, I was raving about the LAKERS vs SUNS game. It was the most thrilling game that i have seen! They were tied at 101 with 3.5 seconds left on the clock. Inbound to Kobe then he takes the shot at 3 point range... It was an air ball, by this moment, the time left was less than a second, Artest got hold of the ball and shoots it at .04 sec and it GETS IN!!!!!! WHOAAAAA!!!! WHAT AN AMAZING FINISH!!! LAKERS WON!!!! WHAT A THRILLING GAME!!! =)

Surprisingly, the Rain came yestereday too, but my friends and i had to wait for two hours for a cab going to another friend's despedida party at Choi Garden. So we were desperately late. But, this was a different dinner because we got to play games at our table... hahah we played charades and guess what thingiemajig was written on the paper on our forehead knda game... it was simply fun. After the dinner we had krispy creme doughnuts. Yummy and sweet original glazed, it's still the best for me!

Today, i went shopping for some slacks, ate some takoyaki, worked on an abstract and my friend dropped by at Bo's too and we ate dinner at our favorite resto that is, C2 and then we parted ways.

Day 57: Listed!

Yesterday:
1. Abstract
2. Watched NBA (Orlando Won!)
3. Interview
4. Shopping and bonding (with my mom and david)
5. Watched Rubi
6. Abstract

Today:
1. Wrote emails
2. Missed the NBA game (Lakers vs Suns 2-2)
3. Gown came by mail and it's beautiful but a lil big for me...
4. On the phone with my bff (and she is down with the flu and dead tired)
5. Will try check for a shop that alters gowns
6. Will be at the Atrium to be with the Queen.
7. Study and prepare for more bold and challenging things to come

Day 55: Anxious, Excited.

I'm so happy my prayers were answered today. And i am anxious, excited about it. Gosh! I could only expect for great things to happen. But, I know it won't be easy but i will try my very best with all my heart. I hope everything will go on smoothly tomorrow.

Today, i went out with my nephews and we went to sm city north edsa and i treated them to a movie (shrek) then we met with my mom and helped her shop for some stuff. Tiring it was but it is a bonding moment.

Lakers lost today. :( but that's ok they still lead the series, 2-1. I am happy the game today was thrilling. That's the essence of NBA! Go Lakers! Hope to watch you at the NBA finals! =)

Day 54: Horoscope

Gracielle,
Your love life is definitely in the back of your mind today, but it may take a nudge from a partner to make you move from thought to action. You may be a little nervous or uncertain - especially if you have been neglecting this area of your life as badly as the stars indicate.

Yup, that is my horoscope for today! Gosh! Am i really neglecting my love life? or the Love life is neglecting me? It feels more like the latter. I really don't have a clue as to how to handle this anymore...Let the stars decide and I hope they work on it very soon. Oh please! Haha!

Day 52: It's my DAD's Birthday!

I posted on facebook that it is my dad's birthday today. Surprisingly my cousins and aunt extended their birthday greetings to my dad. That was really sweet of them. And they gave emphasis on the "tito Pogi" after their bday greeting. So i told my dad, verbatim, their greetings and he laughed and just thanked them. Happy happy birthday dad! ;)

Day 51: A night with my med friends =)

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Originally uploaded by yourbestpose

Another get together with my med school friends. We ate dinner at Amici and we did a lot of catching up. We were still waiting for one more friend to come and she was going to introduce to us her new bf (and soon to be...).

Day 49: Yo momma's so funny!

Met with a friend yesterday, to study at bo's. We were supposed to watch Robinhood but didn't push through with it bec the movie was too long. So we just stayed a lil longer to study and chat some more.

I read a yo momma joke from igoogle and the joke was: Yo momma was so ugly she made the onion cry... hahah and today the joke was, Yo momma so poor, when she goes to KFC, she licks other peoples fingers... hahhah

I woke and went out early awhile ago and the morning breeze was so good and relaxing. Maybe next time i'll try to wake up a lil earlier and jog. :)

Day 47: to the MAN in the future

I just want to lean my head on your shoulder and just be still for awhile...

Day 46: Heroes?

I spent the day yesterday productively. After my obligations, i met up with my bff and met her at GH. After a long time of not seeing her, and finally i was able to give the gift that i bought from my macau trip to her already. Oh, how i missed my friend! We usually have great laughs everytime we are together and yesterday it was like that again.

Today is my aunt's birthday! and of course I already greeted her on facebook, the sweetest greeting i can think of at the moment. Well i told her she is a ray of sunshine in my heart. Isn't that sweet? if someone told you that, wouldn't that make your day? I certainly think so. ;)

I woke up this morning remembering a dream and the weird thing about it was, it paralleled an event that happened to me just awhile ago. It's like a premonition. And this happened to me several times already. I remember a fortune teller before, telling me that i had psychic powers, now what a coincidence. I just told a friend about it and we just laughed it off, teasing that this was a "heroes" kind of thing. hahah!

I'm at Bo's again. I think am going to hang out here until late laterrrr... haha. But i have things to finish though. I hope am going to be productive.

Day 44: Such is life

I'm at bo's again, because yesterday i was here again with my friends doing some important stuff and yes am doing the same again today. Too many "agains" there. hehe.

Well, i just came from the hospital awhile ago and finally my check was already available, geez it has been long overdue.

I was saddened by a news today that a HS friend lost her baby. I didn't know the cause though. Maybe a miscarriage. But that is too painful and devastating considering it was her first pregnancy. That is really sad. I wouldn't wish that for anybody even if it was my greatest enemy. I just hope she will be able to handle this down moment in her life. God bless her.

There is really no certitude in anyone's life. There is no such thing as the pursuit to certitude because there isn't any. And the future is always unfair, because yeah, it's right in front of you but you can't see it. Okay that is supposed to be a joke but there's a truth to it.

Day 42: No Limits

I didn't have any plans of going out today but i had to because we had a briefing from 8-12mn. So, yup i just got home.

During lunch time awhile ago i was watching the NBA semi finals, Lakers vs Jazz and i must say the game wasn't thrilling. Lakers won 4-0, that means their competing against the Suns for the western conference finals. Now am confused, because i like both teams. Okay, i will support the suns this time but still my heart goes out for the lakers. Is that fair enough? hehe.

I also got to watch this 80 yr-old woman who joined britain's got talent. And she sang very well that the crowd was cheering for her, not to mention the judges adored her. It kept me smiling the whole way through and it is such a joy to my heart just watching it. It is really inspiring. That goes to show that there are no limits to what one can achieve as long as he has the heart and will to pursue it. There is no time frame. The lesson is, maybe not to rush achieving your ultimate goal in life, for if you already have done so, what else is there left to do?

Day 40: May the Best Man Win

I actually prayed for a peaceful election. It's the least i can do, since i can't exercise my right to vote because i am not registered. Darn. So anyway, the presidential candidate that is leading the race right now, is not my bet. He's not who i want for president. But hey, i just wish that the best one will win, or at least the best to lead this country. Everything should happen for the best! So i rest my case.

Day 39: Mom's are the BEST!

At church a while ago, towards the end of the mass, the priest asked all the mothers to come near the altar and so all the moms went. And the priest asked who was the oldest amongst them all. To my surprise there was an 87 year old mom present there, and so the priest gave her a bouquet of flowers. Awww that really was nice and heart warming.

So anyway, Happy Mother's day to all the moms out there. Am just so proud of all of you! You are the Greatest! (sigh, i hope i will be a great and cool mom too someday, hahah, now enough dreaming, but hey, nothing wrong with that right? ;))

While typing this, i am listening to glee's total eclipse of the heart. And i just found myself singing it too at the top of my lungs...haha! I just love songs that hit you right on target, when you can't totally express what you feel, these songs just speak out, or does that job for you.

"Every now and then I fall apart, And I need you now tonight, And I need you more than ever,And if you'll only hold me tight, We'll be holding on forever..." (ooops still singing...sorry about that...hehe)

Day 38: I'll Stand By You

I was listening to this song for so many times now. Heard different versions of it actually, by the pretenders, by carrie underwood and by glee. This song is full of hope that someone out there is willing to be there for you even at the lowest moment of your life.
This is one of my favorite songs now.

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So, if you're mad, get mad!
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now

Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
But I'm a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads
Don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

Take me in into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
And I'll never desert you

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

Day 37: Strength vs Courage

I read this from one of the blogs and I am just reposting. This is a reminder for the people who have worn the "mask of strength" for too long, never wanted to show weakness, hence, never finding courage.

It takes strength to be firm
It takes courage to be gentle
It takes strength to stand guard
It takes courage to let down your guard
It takes strength to conquer
It takes courage to surrender
It takes strength to be certain
It takes courage to have doubt
It takes strength to fit in
It takes courage to stand out
It takes strength to feel a friend's pain
It takes courage to feel your own pain
It takes strength to hide feelings
It takes courage to show them
It takes strength to endure abuse
It takes courage to stop it
It takes strength to stand alone
It takes courage to lean on another
It takes strength to love
It takes courage to be loved
It takes strength to survive
It takes courage to live

Day 36: Who's Gina?

I was hanging out at starbucks this morning and while i was in deep thought and trying to read the newspaper, a girl in her mid 20s comes up to me, smiling and says "GINA?" I was taken aback and was still processing what was the girl doing in front of me, until I realized that she mistook me for "GINA," so I said "NO" and my eyes hurriedly were trying to find which line i was reading again. I hope that girl found the real Gina she's going to meet that time though, because i know the feeling of trying to meet someone you don't know especially when a relative asks me to meet this person to give this and that thingiemajig. I have done it a lot of times and luckily, i always pick the right person.

While i was lining up to order my coffee and was still thinking what i wanted, my hands akimbo at that time, this guy just spoke to me saying " Oh I'm sorry, did i cut you in line?" I was surprised, so i said no you could go ahead but he insisted that i go first so Ok, i just went ahead and thanked him... Haay nko, but he was cute and projecting the aura of an executive or a lawyer and he has good voice, the kind that is so pleasing to a girl's ear...hahha! sigh! (daydreaming there..) heheh!

So yeah, i met with a friend today, hanged out a little at starbucks catching up and then we just ate dessert at cravings. The mango short cake and the Laguna cheesecake were a delight to our taste buds. And then there was this mom who ruined the ambience when she was so demanding and was already shouting at the waiter in front of her 3 sons and husband, gosh how stressful! Who the hell does she think she is?! Shame on her, doing that in front of her sons, who, at that time, their heads were just bowed, maybe they were too ashamed of their mom already. Gosh!

And then we saw our ENT resident at the hospital before and a lil chit chat, then she already went.

So my friend and I went home early, oops that only goes for me, she btw, went to the hospital for her grandrounds and then e.r duty!

Because i'm home early and i would be home alone for tonight and maybe a couple of days (because the sister left the country and the nephew is with his godmother) i can watch the famous teleseryes of abs cbn. hahah! Go Agua and Rubi!

Day 35: Alone

I'm listening to "Alone" sung by Kristin Chenoweth on Glee. The song has so much power to it, that it would get you to belt out too, with sooo much gusto while listening to it. haha! Especially this part of the song:

"Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone"

Sigh. I feel it so much! It's so true, I never really cared until I met you... Cheeeeeesy! HAhah!

So anyway, I was more than glad that i was able to finish my task yesterday, that's one, crossed out on my to do list.
I felt so tired yesterday, that my eyes felt so groggy. Now, i know why, it's first day crimson tide again. I hate it that "WE" get to go through this, painstakingly every month. On the other hand, a friend told me before that i have to be "thankful" i already have my period because some girls are already simply begging to all the saints they could think of, to already have their period. Because a missed period may mean a "baby on the way" Haha. So, that keeps me from whining about it sometimes.

Day 34: Good Luck on That!

I had a re-run of glee yesterday afternoon, so this time i know which chapter my favorite episodes are. I love the ballad endless love and the song from wicked, defying gravity. This is the first time i repeated watching a series, maybe because it is inspiring and also relaxing and not to mention funny. Oh, i love the football game part too. So cute.

It was great chatting with my HS friend. We spent an hour chatting. It will be her wedding on the 26th of June. I am so excited to see her walk down the aisle! (Awww...) I will be one of her bridesmaids. I can't wait for the big day!

Today, i have to accomplish what an uncle asked me to do. That would entail going to the notary public to have the document notarized and going to makati (and still locate the address, because it's the first time am going to this office), to have the document filed. To at least try maybe because it said in the document to accomplish on or before Dec 2009, well HELLO!!! it's past the due date already. Oh well, will see what and come what may. Wish me luck!

Day 33: Woke Up Smiling

Yesterday's duty was fun! I had to ride an ambulance to conduct a patient for CT scan. The ride was fast and i liked it, cause i'm a sucker for speed. Every car in the road was simply just giving way. Haha Cool!

And to end my duty last night, i admitted a patient with a possible infarct. And i also had a patient with transient ischemic attack. I think that it's disturbing to note that we get a lot of these at the E.R nowadays. So anyway, thank God we had a smooth sailing duty and the people i worked with were simply fun, nice and more importantly, efficient! =)

I woke up this morning dreaming of someone and he was already puckering his lips because he wanted to kiss me. Awww... and so in my dream we kissed. And the rest of the details, i prefer to keep in my mind. haha! But there was also this part when we were dressed formally, him wearing a tuxedo and i was wearing an elegant gown, i wonder where we're going though. ;)

Day 32: GleeK!

I spent the whole day yesterday watching season 1 of Glee. It's good i finished watching in the afternoon already. Good thing i started watching the other night but only to chapter 8 because i was already falling asleep. It was super fun! And also their songs are inspiring. I just love it. Now i can be called a GleeK! hehe =)

I'm up early today because i will be on duty at the E.R. for 12 hours, from 9-9. I have to hear mass first and then go to the hospital. I hope i will have a smooth sailing duty.

And oh yeah, it's the 2nd day of May! Hooray! at least yesterday i spent the first day being inspired and smiling because of the glee songs!

Okay gtg and prepare! babush!

Day 30: Keeping my fingers crossed

Whoa! it's the last day of the month. Did i spend this month productively? Did i enjoy it? Was it eventful? errr the answer is, "somehow, i guess." But not quite what i really wanted to happen with my life yet. But of course the days of April are crucial for the next months that will come. I wish the fulfillment of my dreams will start this May. I hope this May, my plans will be smooth sailing. But whatever is in store for me, i will accept it in all humility.

Maybe later, i should celebrate this day! or make it a point that i do, every last day of the month! =)

As of the moment, i have tasks to fulfill today and i hope it would be rewarding and productive. Ciao!

Day 29: Neck problems

Ouch! my neck hurts. This usually, is the feeling when i wake up in the morning. It feels like am having a stiff neck or something. The other day, while i was bathing i just suddenly felt that some nerve has been caught in between (i don't know what) muscles that it was so painful. Yesterday i had to put ice on my neck just to relieve the discomfort and pain. This has been the second time that i had a stiff neck while i was doing something and not because i woke up having one (which is usually the case, in all stiff necks, at least that's what i think or is it a misconception?). I don't know why I'm getting this. Is this because i don't use a pillow when i sleep? but am already used to not using a pillow and this neck problem just started this month. And besides, when i used a pillow before, i really got a bad stiff neck and since then i never used a pillow anymore. What could be happening to my neck? Is it getting longer??? (hehe, just making a joke out of it) but yeah, i already have a long neck. Maybe i should use a pillow again? Sigh. There must be something. The other night i used a book as a pillow and somehow my neck got relaxed. Weird. Maybe, i need a longer pillow, that can support my neck down to my upper back. I should find a way to solve this neck thingiemajig! Or else it might trigger something worse (hope not!). I even do neck exercises already, not the stressful ones just extending and flexing for 30 seconds, that is. I even do finger massage on my neck. Whoa! I don't like this. I hope this won't b the case tomorrow again.

Day 28: Come What May...

What are the chances that while i was hanging out at starbucks yesterday, i saw a friend who was a nurse from TMC? Gosh i haven't seen this dudette for a looooooooong time. The last time i saw "her" was during internship. Whoa! That was 3 years ago!
I was so ecstatic to see this person. It was always good working with "her." We can always manage a smile or a laugh even in the most toxic situations. Good old times! =)

I got a call yesterday, from one of the thingiemajig that i applied to and they were just clarifying and suggesting my "supposed" regional representation. So yeah, yesterday without me knowing at that hour that i was being deliberated. Gosh it made me nervous! And i have a positive strong feeling about this. I was anxious, excited at that moment. Yet i was reminded that i should just pray and hope that the best for my sake will be given to me.

I had to go to the hospital ydy to get my check but to my dismay, it wasn't still available. Oh well, the effort going there and the cab fare was just wasted. But who knows, that was for the best. so, that's ok. An angel said that "things aren't always what they seem" so, Amen to that!

Last day of training last night! hooray!!! =)

Today, i'm going to hang out with my med friends (oh well, they are the friends that are there for me most of the time, Thank God for them). Study, Church and Eat...that's what we will do today. But we are always in for surprises and adventures if it would present to us. haha!

Seize the day!!!

Day 27: blah

I missed blogging yesterday. Or i just locked myself up in my room, listening to songs and studying a little. I was up until past midnight.

So my day at the clinic was good, with patients coming in with abdominal pain and hypersensitivity reaction. I was so starved because i didn't eat breakfast. I left at 1 pm and just went to shangri la to eat lunch. The mall still smells of smoke from the weekend's fire coming from rustan's supermarket. I coudn't take the smell.

I was home early, around 4 pm and i just fell asleep and felt too tired that i woke up at 7 pm already, had it not been for "dudley" singing at the top of his lungs the "glee" songs.

I woke up awhile ago with a pretty weird dream. That i was with one of the presidentiables and his mom, and his mom was explaining to me how his son loved politics that even when he was so young he already expressed a liking to it. And we were riding a tricycle. Haha! so much for that dream.

I better prepare for a long day ahead.

I wish...

Day 25: Now what?

It's Sunday! Another week is bound to start again. I heard mass early at the atrium. And then i had to meet up with my brother and his family here in megamall to get this laptop that am using now here at bo's coffee. And i had to buy a laptop bag because they just brought it without the bag. I didn't want to carry it without a bag because it might slip off from my hands, sheesh! what a waste of money to buy a bag for this, had they taken the time to look for the bag. (hay nko!)

"Dudley" provoked me again while i was leaving, gosh this kid, he doesn't learn. I regret the harsh words he heard from me but he deserves it. uGh!

But i prayed for him, (really) while i was hearing mass awhile ago.

It's almost the end of the month. I wonder how eventful my life would be this coming May. I could only wish for good and great things to happen.

But for now, i'm living in the present. And tomorrow is another day.

Day 24: Things Aren't Always What They Seem

I got a call (not the one that i was wishing to get) from my mom this morning that my brother and his family are arriving today and that they are almost here in manila already. Wow, what a surprise (not what i was expecting, but duh! it is still a surprise, anyway). So anyway, this kid 'Dudley" had his disrespectful bouts again. I really want to teach this kid a lesson and i still don't know how to, and the only thing i can think of now is to do it the harsh way and for him to learn it in the most difficult way. I just can't tolerate this kind of attitude. UGh! what an OBNOXIOUS KID!

I should better prepare and study out and later will hang out and eat dinner with a friend. I should think happy thoughts today and be reminded that i should care LESS! and not worry about anything...

Last night i read a story and the lesson learned from it was : "Things aren't always what they seem!"

Day 23: I'm loving it!

I had clinic at a bank in makati today from 10-1pm only. I attended to 6 patients who are employees of the bank. Before i knew it, it was time to leave. Oh well, i'll be back on monday again.
After the clinic i went home right away to change for badminton. I had to hang out in shangri-la first and study a little until i met with friends and we went to trinoma for them to watch "babe, i love you" and as for me, i was back to starbucks to read some more. After that we went to Dragon badminton court already. Great game! I must say, my smashes are more forceful now. I should play more i think, so it would be more powerful. After playing for 2 hours, we were all starved and ate at Trellis for some "bulalo" super yummy, that i ate a lot. We went home late already. It's 1 am.

Oh btw, this morning when i woke up, i dreamt of someone and he was happily pulling a rickshaw and i was the passenger. In my dream, i was surprised that he gladly and teasingly took the rickshaw from someone else and we were both just laughing. Awww, the closest i can get to be with this person. Our happy faces were just so vivid, that it felt so real...

I wonder, what's up later and the rest of the day? Wishing for a surprise or a call from someone. ;)

Day 22: Learning From Others

This morning i didn't wake up because of chirping birds but of noise coming from a construction nearby. Ugh! I wanted to sleep more. I felt too tired from the badminton yesterday. I think i strained some muscles. Oh well part of being "sporty."

When i was checking my mails this morning, there was this forwarded message entitled "I've learned that..." It was sent by a friend. Though the message was too long, i read it to the very end. Some of the things that, that one person learnt, that i thought i have or should learn are:

"no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back;
it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be;
it's a lot easier to react than it is to think;
heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences;
there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it;
many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control;
no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most;
you can keep going long after you think you can't;
you cannot make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them."

So yeah, will keep that in mind and at heart. :)

Will be home late again. Part 3 of the training. Before the training, will study at starbucks first.
I better get breakfast and start the day!
Hoping for something great to happen today! ;)

Day 21: Getting Sporty!

I'm going to play badminton with a friend this afternoon at the metro badminton court. I gotta work on those power smashes though. I'm starting to like this game. But well, table tennis is still my first sport. And then there's Chess, Arnis and Archery. And yeah, i love wakeboarding too! ;)

Sometimes i dream, i am a tennis player or maybe an equestrienne or a figure skater. It's cool to be an athlete. They have so much discipline and determination to strive to be best. Maybe i could have, should have been an athlete. Haha! So much for the day dreaming.

Day 20: My 48 hr duty!

I was back at the hospital last Saturday and Sunday for a 48 hr straight duty. It is always exciting at the E.R. The adrenalin rush is always there. But the anticipation of what the next case would be becomes nerve wracking sometimes. There's always a wave of patients, which amazes me, the patients come in at a certain hour of the day and they come, in masses. Which makes me think, "why didn't you come in a while ago when there were no patients at all and now all of you are here and demands attention and care all at the same time!!!" And then after that single hour and when they are all discharged, another lull moment, the calm before yet another storm.

I had a patient with the same name and same age as my nephew, but she is a girl. She came in for nebulization, that made it more familiar because my nephew is also prone to respiratory problems so he nebulizes too. What are the chances? Sigh. So i missed my nephew at that moment. I hope and pray that he is doing well though and that he overcomes his respiratory problems. I just miss my most favorite boy in the world!

There are so many things to learn at the E.R. You value life more. You become humble and more grateful of your own blessings. You remind yourself to take good care of yourself and to hang in there and have faith. You realize that indeed, life is just borrowed and that anytime it can be taken away from you. You see a lot of situations and you think what is best to do if it happened to you. One's character is being tested all the time when put to difficult situations. You can see how worried parents are when their children are sick. Every patient has a different story. You can see the past, the present and the future with every patient encounter. No two people are the same, even twins. It's simply amazing.

Gladly, i survived a 48 hr duty. It's the first time i did that. I'm happy that somehow i was able to touch and inspire some patients. And that i was able to comfort and help them with their health problems, the best that i can.

Yesterday, i was home around 11 am and was fast asleep. Then i had to go to the dentist to get my retainers at 5pm and then went straight back home to catch up on sleep again.

Later, will be attending part 2 of my training and will be home late again.

Day 16: BRACES FREE!!!

I was subjected to "torture" yesterday. Gosh the stress that i had to undergo while my braces is being removed, unimaginable. Literally, it rocked my whole being. There was an instrument that shaves off the cement from each tooth and everytime the dentist does one tooth, OMG! it's like earthquake in my whole head. Goosebumps all over. It's something that can induce a terrible headache. That is really some bad experience that i don't want to go through again. But yeah, No pain, no gain. Now, my mouth feels so smooth without the braces. But i'm still not too convinced i have a better smile now though,or maybe i still have to get used to my new smile.

Last night, my friends and i underwent some training for "something new" and it started at 8pm and ended at around 11ish. So i got home late and i was locked out, because it was double locked from the inside and it was sooo difficult to wake the sister to get to open the door. And yeah, thanks to a friend for calling our landline just to wake the sister up. (sigh)

So i must say yesterday was a productive day. Yahoo! It was nice seeing old friends too after a long time... :)

Today, i'm going to study with one of my closest friends, hanging out to study once again after a really long time... awww brings back the memories of Med School days! =)

Tomorrow, i'll be on 24hr duty at the hospital (am anxious, excited about it) so, no blog entry until i get back.

Day 15: 3:16

I heard mass yesterday at the atrium and i must say that the priest there delivers inspiring homilies. I really go there every Wednesday, as much as i can, just to listen to the priest's homily. I will remember the verse John 3:16 and how the priest explained it and how it became more meaningful to me.

After the mass, i ate dinner at Goldilock's just to satisfy my craving to eat "laing" and while i was enjoying my laing, i can't help but hear (Because hearing is involuntary) one mom who was talking to her daughter on the phone and she was shouting and scolding her and by the tone of her voice she was really mad. She keeps saying "I don't give a damn, I want you to go home, stop bullshitting me, what you're going to drink again?!" and etc. That moment, I realized and I was so thankful that my mom never scolded me that way or never spoke to me that way. I hope that in the near future, i won't be scolding my daughter that way too.

So the "laing" i think didn't like my tummy very well because after an hour or so, i found myself scurrying to the nearest restroom. Gosh that was really a bad experience. No more "laing" for me for a while.

I received two calls last night and that is for me to go on duty on Saturday at the hospital and the other from a friend who i haven't heard of for a long time.

Today is going to be a long day. So i better start preparing or I'll be running late for my appointments.

Day 14: Until the End of Time

I just found myself bursting into song, from Moulin Rouge:

I want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I'm loving you, more and more
Listen to my heart, Can you hear it sings?
Come back to me
And forgive everything
Seasons may change
Winter to Spring
I love You
Until the end of time...

Day 13: On second thoughts

I missed blogging on Day 12: Cravings. Yesterday i just spent the afternoon with a friend at starbucks. We were supposed to go for "halo halo" but i just settled for a buko pandan with ice cream and macapuno dessert. It was good and refreshing. I stayed out late last night trying my very best to read some chapters of the anes secrets. There's always something really new to encounter and that reaction that oops "i think i know this" and "hmmm this is familiar" but somehow it's still difficult to understand. ;)

While writing this blog i could hear the neighbor kid crying again. That kid always cry. Hmmm. And the nanny couldn't let her stop. Maybe she wants something and it's not given to her? Oh, now i know, the kid doesn't want to take a bath! (sigh) whatever! Anyway, today i just opted to stay home. I was planning to go to the hospital to submit an LOR but i thought maybe i should just go tomorrow. And then go to the dentist and study out and hear mass at the atrium. It was raining a while ago but it felt like it was just a drizzle, i bet the rain water didn't even wet 5 inches of the soil.

I'm still thinking of going out, maybe to go to the neighborhood supermarket, that is, pioneer. Well, let me see if i can make myself go. Am too laaaazy!

Day 11: How wonderful life is...

This afternoon, Moulin Rouge was playing on 2nd ave. and i just remembered how i really loved this movie. It was so hard for me to leave because it was just so entertaining, that i was smiling the entire time i was watching it. I loved the songs they were singing most especially, the LOVe Medley, when Ewan Mcgregor was singing "How wonderful life is, now when you're in the world" and "All You Need is LOVE" and "In the Name of Love " and "We should be lovers." Awww... it's sooo nice to be in love (i have a stupid smile on my face right now, haha).

So the afternoon, was so unexpected. While i was walking at shangrila mall awhile ago, i bumped into a college friend together with her family and we had a lil catching up to do, until we bid each other goodbye. Another surprise was, when i got a text message from my best friend that she is in shangrila too, but that was when i was already on my way to megamall to hear mass at the atrium. After the mass, i went back to shang to meet with my best friend and waited until she was done with her hair at the salon. And the last surprise was i got a call from yet another friend that he was also in shang eating dinner with a friend. So me and my best friend just dropped by to say hi. Then we ate dinner. Did some catching up. But we were just so tired and we lacked the energy to put some animation to our stories. Still, it was nice seeing my friends today, by chance. ;)

Day 10: 10 things

1. I'm almost running out of chocnut.
2. When i woke up this morning, it's that time of the month when, the "tide turns crimson."
3. My mom called to check on me. If i was still alive.
4. I remembered about my ipaq and then found out that i could turn it into a remote. (duh)
5. Day 2 facebook free.
6. Saw some of my favorite pictures on the ipaq.
7. Breaking news: Polish president Kaczynski and his wife dies in a plane crash with all 132 on board.
8. learned about "bellows" but still on chapter 3 of the anesthesia secrets. stuck!
9. Fell asleep while reading a vampire inspired book.
10. Waiting.

Day 9: You have the Right to Remain Silent

Oh noh! The ASEAN summit ends today. That would mean, my sister is going to be back. And that would also mean my nephew is going to be here soon too, back from the province. So much for being home alone. I would really miss the silence, the peaceful environment. So this would also mean, i would stay out until the wee hours of the night (to study, yeah) because i want to avoid my brat, bordering obnoxious nephew (because i couldn't just tolerate this kind of attitude so we would clash if i come home early). This would also entail that i would miss my most favorite soap opera. So really, so much for this peace and silence.

That is the sad part of my life right now, i admit it. I tried to reach out to my sister but she retaliates. She has been blaming me for something that i don't have any control of. So i just gave up trying to talk to her. This would be only a short time to be with her again because a few months from now (hoping, for the best) she will be posted abroad again, which would mean (again) that we won't be seeing each other again for so many years. I will be busy with residency too (God willing). Maybe this is what we need, time apart from each other. Sometimes, i think my friend, is more of a sister to me than any of my sisters. My sisters have changed. Maybe because circumstances around them has changed. Maybe because they have their own families already. Well, i don't take it against them though. We have our own lives to live now. I just hope the future would be bright for all of us.

I have come to this point when i just want to isolate myself from everybody. I want to detach myself from anybody i know. Sometimes, i imagine myself going to a place where nobody knows me. And i think that if only i had the power to erase from everybody's mind that they have known me, i would do it. Like they never knew me or didn't exist in their lives, even only for a week or for a day. But of course, this kind of thing, if it ever happens would be "all or none."

I need silence and i think everybody needs it, at some point in their lives.

Day 8: Heart vs Mind

I am so thankful i fulfilled my goals for this week. Hooray! hooray! Thanks to our "manong" guard for offering to get my documents notarized. I was just asking him where, here in Pasig could i go for a notary public and he offered to do it for me. Of course i obliged, (sa init ba naman ng panahon noh?!) so, i just gave him a tip for being so helpful. :)

From now on, i promise myself to be stronger and not get too attached. I hope i could control my emotions and no longer be affected with what i feel. I will remain impervious to non peaceful entreaties. I should let my mind rule over my heart this time. Maybe, it would be better this way. Now, I'm going to be carefree! :)

Day 7: Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

It's true. And I agree, it's no humbug.

I was just reading a medScape blog, and an anesthesiologist was just complaining about a drug shortage list maintained by the FDA. For example, propofol,this drug is indispensable for an anesthesiologist and yet there is a shortage. He claims most especially to their specialty, that they have a special relationship with the medications they use. And it's hard to be deprived of something that one has been used to.

While I was watching a soap opera a while a go, there was a scene when a couple was hugging each other and the act was just so heartwarming that i couldn't resist but to miss someone. Call it a moment of weakness but i admit it. No matter how hard i try and remind myself not to think or feel or long for that someone, i always surrender to it. It's hard and it's a struggle. Because somehow I gotta be strong. It's self preservation. I guess I can't do anything, because i do love this someone.

Sometimes, in the middle of all these complicated emotions, i just wonder about that "man in the future."

Day 6: It pays to wait.

I did a lot of waiting today. True that my patience was tested to its limit, but i didn't complain. I just waited. Silently. The best thing about it was, i was able to accomplish something and i got what i wanted. That made me happy. I'm so thankful, i met really nice and very helpful people who assisted me. And the person that I waited for is super nice as well. Hooray for me today.

Patience really is a virtue.

I believe. ;)

Day 5: Check and an X!

Last night i was writing a "to do list" for today and I wasn't quite sure i would finish all of it but I am happy that somehow i was able to put a check mark on almost everything. If it weren't for some unexpected events then i could have finished everything. But, well i still deserve that pat on the back and a good job remark. :)

Just now, i received a call from my mom and i hate it when she becomes too inquisitive and then she would expect a lot from my answers and i just hate to disappoint her if the things that i plan for myself doesn't take off. I know that they have their own plans for me, but hello this is my life! What do they want from me? I think this time i should follow what i want and what's inside my heart. They think i am not thinking about my future or i am so carefree about my life, but they are so wrong. Sometimes parents become so impatient. Aren't they content i already have a medical degree and a license to go with that? What more could they ask for? Why are they becoming so impatient now? They should not have encouraged me to become a doctor, if they are not prepared to deal with the consequences of time. I am so peeved right now. Fine, I don't discount the fact that i owe them my whole life (and I am forever grateful for that) but it doesn't mean they own it. I love my parents and I hate it that, most of the time parents are always right, that's why i just rant a lot like this, but in the end, i still follow them. Damn me, for being so obedient. The 4th commandment reminds me to "Honor your Father and your Mother." And so, Amen to that.

And so I thought the day is going to end happy. But yeah, i can always choose to be happy. So am going to put a smile on my face now, just to start. Breatheeeeeee....

Day 4: The Verdict: Babe, I love You

We saw this movie last night, on last full show, at the premiere theatre of Shangrila Cineplex. Everyone was lining up for the movie clash of the titans but my friend and i, we were just so patriotic haha! GO PINOY MOVIES! But well, surprisingly the theatre was also full of people so we're not the only ones who were itching to see this movie, not to mention on it's opening date, really! hahah.

The movie was hilarious! It made me laugh a couple of times. Kudos to Anne Curtis, she really pulled off her role as the really genuine "Jologs." There was only a light drama into it. Not too much "kilig" factor on the love team of Sasa and Niko. So, my Aunt from the US was asking me yesterday even before i saw the movie, if this was better than Miss You Like Crazy, well I would say the latter is still the Best that I have seen, that it was already a week after i saw it and still, i couldn't get over it. And not to mention, after the movie ended i was still crying. I'm sorry to say that it didn't come close to Miss YOu Like Crazy. Oh well, maybe that's just me!

And oh btw, HAPPY EASTER! =)

Day 3: Friends, M.D.

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Originally uploaded by yourbestpose

9 years of friendship and counting...

aaah i took the picture here! ;)

Day 2: Babe, I love YOU

I'm kindah excited to see this movie tomorrow with my friend. April 3 is the opening date and i actually wanted to watch five days after the opening date but my friend said, why not see it tomorrow?! okay fine. I didn't want to appear too excited to see this movie but i really am! I feel too giglish about it. Hahaha. Let's see if this movie even comes close to One more chance or Miss you like crazy. ;)

Day 1: Home alone

Today is maundy thursday. I was actually enjoying my very peaceful environment when suddenly the neighbor kids arrive from timbuktu and shouts to their door "Suprise." It made me smile though, especially when they couldn't really pronounce the word yet. It's kind of cute. And then i remembered their nanny the other day, shouting at one of them "David don't SHOUTING!!!" and of course i couldn't help but laugh!!! hahah :)

I was trying to concentrate on finishing some stuff and a chapter from a medical book but there is always something else to do and that is "nothing," but staring into blank space and thinking this day is HOLY and what should i do again? I should reflect, meditate and be sorry for my sins. While thinking of that i had a throbbing headache, so i try to sleep it off. But it persisted when i woke up. Sheesh. Until it was time to go to church. Thank goodness the weather was cool while i was walking to church and back. And "suprisingly" no more headache! Check! :)